Happy Associations

Do you find yourself using certain brands for the pleasant associations you have with them?  It's not a matter of cost or, necessarily, quality, it's just what you've always done.

Last night, as I was making a batch of chocolate chip cookies, I took a look at all of the ingredients laid out before me...  C & H Sugar, brown (in the box, not the bag) and white (in that jolly pink and blue bag), Gold Medal All-Purpose Unbleached Flour, Morton Salt, Schilling/McCormick Vanilla and, finally, Nestle Chocolate Chips.  I realized that these were the very same brands I've always used and also the same products my mom always had. 

C & H, for example, was the only real sugar, not that awful beet sugar.  Using brown sugar meant getting a little spoonful all to myself.  It could also be mixed with awful tasting medicine to make it more palatable. Those peppy commercials set in Hawaii with all the happy islanders singing about sugar really sealed the deal...  I can't imagine using anything else, now.

My favorite cookie cookbook, Betty Crocker's 1963 Cooky Book, always specified Gold Medal All Purpose Flour.  Nothing in that book could possibly be wrong.  I spent a lot of time looking through that spiral bound tome as a child (I still do, from time to time, as do my own kids), so there was ample opportunity for me to be indoctrinated in the importance of that gold medal (although I still don't know where this medal came from, or why flour of all things, would win one...  is there a grain Olympics going on somewhere?). 

I also recall being allowed to smell the vanilla bottle each time it was opened, a real thrill when you're four or five.  Of course, it never tasted at all like it smelled, and it was hard to reconcile that sweet aroma with the bitter, burning liquid in the brown bottle.  Even today, I still smell vanilla each time I use it.

Finally, and most importantly - the chocolate chips.  Unlike my daughter, who sometimes needs chocolate - any chocolate, I don't ever feel the need to snack on chocolate chips.  In fact, on their own, I don't even really like them.  But!  Each time I tear open that familiar yellow bag and smell that chocolatey smell, I have to snag a couple.  No other bag of chocolate chips smells or tastes as good.

There are so many things that I find myself using today because of their happy associations and because I know exactly what I am going to get each time I use it.  I'd take a Hershey Bar or See's Candy over any other eating chocolate, and for baking there's only Baker's Unsweetened Chocolate in my book.  I am sure there are equally good or, maybe, even better choices, but I'll probably never know.

So, what's the point of all this, and how does it relate to being Dapper and Dreamy?  Well, I think it's Dapper and Dreamy to carry on the old, and often best, tried and true way of doing things.  Nostalgia and a healthy appreciation for the past and the good memories we have of it are definitely Dapper and Dreamy qualities.  It's also interesting to stop for a moment and look at what we are doing and ask why we do it a certain way.  Perhaps your mom or dad or grandmother taught you how to do something and, to this day, you do it the very same way.  If you give it a little thought, each time you perform some basic act, it's like a little nod to that special person and what they meant to you.  Pass those traditions on so that, one day, those people that think you are special can have little, daily appreciations of you.

The Dreamiest... Doris Day

When we think of dreamy singers and actresses, we definitely think of Doris Day.  She can sing, she can dance, she can play funny or dramatic.  Doris Day did it all.

Doris Day never planned to be a singer or an actress.  It was a car accident in her adolescence that caused to give up her first ambition - to be a dancer.  Despite the accident, Doris later showed herself fully recovered when she danced in such films as April in Paris and By the Light of the Silvery Moon.  But before she came to the big screen, Ms. Day was a popular singer with many big bands,  most notably Les Brown and His Band of Renown.  Her's was the voice behind one of World War II's biggest hits, Sentimental Journey.



In her early films, she generally played an uber-peppy platinum blonde who was game for anything, anything but romance.  Known to her legions of fans as a "professional virgin", Doris later wondered how she got this moniker considering that in real life she had married four times, was a single mother and had been squired around Hollywood by many of the biggest male names in show business.  Behind that early Warner Brother's veneer of lacquered hair and pancake makeup, Doris Day was a natural beauty with a real zest for life and fun.  Supporting her mother and her young son, Ms. Day spent most of her free time at home where, as a teetotaller, she had her own soda fountain.

Doris Day and Rock Hudson in a publicity
still for Pillow Talk.

Later pictures proved to be better and presented the image of Doris Day that most of us have today.  In Please Don't Eat the Daisies, Pillow Talk, Lover Come Back, The Thrill of It All and Send Me No Flowers, Doris got to show her style and her fabulous comedic timing.  Paired with David Niven, Rock Hudson and James Garner, Doris played devoted but harried mothers turned models, single career girls (to use the vernacular of the time!) and knowing wives.  Aside from her performances, the style of these movies alone makes them firm Dapper and Dreamy favorites!  Whether it's Doris' apartments, houses or offices, this is mid-century glam at it's finest.  Not to mention the clothes - perhaps shown to best effect in That Touch of Mink with Cary Grant.  In this film, Doris is given her own private fashion show by Bergdorf Goodman, complete with several fabulous evening gowns, day suits and leisure wear, and of course the requisite mink coat with changeable silk overcoats in beige, emerald green and deep red.  In addition, the immaculate Cary Grant chose both his own and Day's wardrobes and decorated his office set with art from his own collection.

In addition to her wonderful films, only a few of which I've mentioned, there's the music.  There are many CD's out featuring selections of Doris Day's catalog, including several very comprehensive boxed sets.  To the delight of her fans, Doris is about to release never-before-heard recordings made in the 70's and produced by her late son.  Now, it's important to really listen to a Doris Day song...  For years I've heard people talk about singer's "phrasing" and their unique ways of interpreting a song.  Largely, I didn't know what these critics were talking about, until I really listened to some of my Day favorites - Sentimental Journey, The Christmas Waltz, Secret Love and many more.  She really does sing with absolute sincerity and simplicity.  Forget all of the crazy runs and flourishes of today's top artists, Doris Day (like many of her contemporaries) could sing...  Really sing.

If you are like us, you like to know what became of your favorite film stars of old.  In Doris' case, don't believe what you read.  Tabloids and even supposedly well-researched books paint her as a lonely and sad recluse at her Carmel Valley property.  In fact, if you've had the opportunity to listen to her annual radio appearances around her birthday each April, you'd know that she's hail and hearty and full of humor and appreciation for her many, many fans.

Her extensive compound features lovely gardens and, more importantly, plenty of space for her beloved rescue pets.  Not content to give just her name to a cause, Day has walked the walk of her Doris Day Animal Foundation's (now part of the Humane Society of America) commitment to better the lives of animals.  Presented with an honorary Grammy and the Presidential Medal of Freedom a few years ago, Day has still not been recognized with an Honorary Oscar, though few stars of her generation were as varied in their talents and contributions to entertainment.

The death of her son Terry Melcher, was a blow to Doris Day, but rather than retreat, she has continued her work for animals and has recorded several in depth interviews about her career and the great talents she worked with. She also tries to keep up with the enormous amounts of fan mail that she continues to receive, although she hasn't appeared in a movie since the late 1960s, and hasn't released a new recording in several decades.  In her radio interviews, an emotional Doris Day shows a genuine humility, wondering why so many people are still interested, but so glad they are.  She refers to her admirers not as "fans", but as friends.  As she has said herself, she's not a recluse, she's just someone who left the limelight behind for a private life, but one devoted to making the world a better place.

As far as we are concerned, Doris Day is the epitome of Dapper and Dreamy!

Summer Garden!

The Spring Garden...

Mid-May

Has turned into the Summer Garden!

Late June

Each March, as I walk through my muddy back garden in, I am sure that each and every bare spot is going to need to be filled with some new and terribly expensive plant.  So sure am I that I start consulting gardening books, seed catalogs, and even those fabulously splashy mailings that will send you a whole flower garden all at once, with instructions on where and how to plant each item for best effect.  As spring moves along, I am a little more hopeful, maybe most of the things that I loved last year will make another appearance.  Finally, around mid-June, my perennial beds are full to bursting and I couldn't squeeze another plant in if I wanted to!

My favorite spot - the perennial bed.  As the season
progresses, hollyhocks, dahlias and more roses
take over.  By autumn it's a huge bank of Japanese
anemones...  No foxglove this year...  hmmm.

Gardens are wonderful things.  They give us tremendous scope for our creative talents. They also provide an excellent opportunity to get out of the house and into the sun and fresh air.  I rarely feel worse for having flung the door open and thrown myself into the latest gardening project.

Our house has provided us with ample opportunity to exercise this horticultural longing.  Built in 1910, it came to us with very little in the way of landscaping.  A giant Sequoia tree was the main plant of note.  An aged and rather pessimistic neighbor has assured the children that, within fifty years time, that tree is bound to crash through our roof.  But, it's a landmark that can be seen from far, far away.  A sort of beacon as we drive home.

Home!  Ready for the Fourth of July.

My first foray into planting was thanks to one of those colorful plant catalogs that I mentioned above.  I bought the "Blue and White Colonial Garden", expecting sizable plants to arrive in four to six weeks.  Imagine my disappointment when the tiniest, most decrepit looking seedlings came in rather damp and crumpled cardboard boxes.  Planting according to the enclosed chart, I was certain that my "garden" would put on a brave, if slightly less spectacular, show.

Weeks went by and little growth was noted.  Resigned to my first waste of meager gardening funds, I was delighted to one day notice that, finally, my miniature Williamsburg garden was starting to fill in.  By mid-June it was really quite presentable and I was hooked.

Almost all of those plants remain today, ten years later.  The geraniums, Canterbury Bells and balloon flowers have been divided, again and again, and almost all return each year, healthy and ready to give me some sense of satisfaction.  The one casualty from that first shipment has been the Shasta daisy.  Bright, cheerful and a sure sign of summer, whoever thought up the phrase "fresh as a daisy" was seriously troubled.  Overpowering an otherwise beautifully scented garden, those daisies had to go.

Perhaps one of my favorite plants was rescued from my brother.  Presented with a lovely pot of non-blooming peonies, years and several divisions later, these lovely mop-headed flowers bloom and bloom each spring and summer.  Their deep pink and lightly blushed petals fall onto our carved Indian table day after day as they are enjoyed in the living room. 

A blushing pink peony mixed with a bit of Lady's Mantle.
A huge bloom with a delightful fragrance.

He also gave me several rather sad roses which, after much spraying and pruning, bloom bright next to the peonies.  (I should say, in fairness, that his own garden is just as successful as mine.  But, this is my blog so I can make it sound like I'm better...  and only in the hopes that he'll read it!)  This reminds me to never turn my nose up at less than stellar plant stock, especially that which is given freely.  In earlier posts, I have mentioned my aunt.  She has always had an amazing garden.  Filled with perennials, roses, lovely shrubs, irises - everything you can imagine - it's a gardening ideal.  Several years ago, as we collected some free cuttings she'd divided, I asked her where she bought her plants.  Expecting that she'd name one of the better nurseries in town, her answer was...  K-Mart.  Not just K-Mart, but the clearance shelf -  the one with the most dreadful looking, drooping, parched stock!  With care and patience, she turned those pathetic sprouts into a marvellous garden, and I took note. 

Hot Cocoa!  This prolific variety lasts all through the season,
with a few blooms into late September, maybe even October.
As the bloom ages it becomes a bit redder.  One warning...
HUGE, sharp thorns!

Honestly, I've no idea what this rose is called.  It was one
 of the plants my brother kindly gave me several years ago.
It is a most delightful, deep orange - almost salmon, not
quite coral.

I think this is the Reine des Violettes from the Heirloom Rose
Garden in St. Paul, Oregon.  A wonderful place with
truly incredible roses.  A great place to spend an
afternoon.

I have no idea what variety this is, but it was here when
we moved in nearly twelve years ago.  The blooms
are large and very, very fragrant.  The stems are a sort
of reddish mahogany and are incredibly long.

So, what have I learned from my aunt, and others, about gardening?  In short - have some vision...  Buy for the future, not just for instant gratification...  Pinch off those first blossoms, as painful as it might be, your plants will be fuller and will flower more...  And never assume that cost means quality.  Those little lessons could certainly apply to a lot of things in life!

Here's to gardening, whether you're a beginner (I am certainly still in this category) or a seasoned pro!

A little place to sit and eat on a warm summer evening.

I love all of the colors in this little corner...  Especially
all of the greens...  Lady's Mantle, Heuchera, Mint,
Lemon Verbena, hops...

  

Dapper and Dreamy Style - The Second Time Around

One of the dapperest of all...

Being dapper doesn't come cheap.  Well, actually, you wouldn't think it comes cheap but, between you and me, it can be much less expensive than you'd expect.  How?  Smart shopping and lots of luck.

I remember when I was much younger that the idea of going to a thrift store filled me with dread.  The smell, the idea that other people had used, let alone worn, these things was troubling.  As time went on, I started to change my tune.  Starting with books, moving to catchy vintage items, then interesting dishes and glassware, jumping to clothes became easy.  Melissa has always been a clever spotter at such places, able to pull out the best quality at a glance.  Over time, I learned to spy quality in seconds.

I was reminded of this today when I decided to pull out my summer wardrobe.  I had no idea how many great clothes I'd hidden away and found that I had to replace everything in my closet to make way for the new season's togs.  Linen, cotton and very fine wool in seersucker, flannel and jersey - much of it was bought at the end of the last spring and summer seasons at incredibly low clearance prices, or at second hand shops where patience and a clear eye paid off.

Too many pants!  Linen, cotton, wool...
White, khaki...  even seersucker and
red corduroy!

Take shirts as an example.  A few of my favorite brands are Thomas Pink, Brooks Brothers, Faconnable, Banana Republic and J. Crew.  Retail prices for these shirts can range from about $60 and up for Banana Republic, J. Crew and Brooks Brothers, while Thomas Pink and Faconnable prices generally start at around $130 and go up to nearly $200!  Imagine my delight when I can find mint condition examples for around $3.47.  In many cases, my catches have just come from the dry cleaners where they've been left too long and, therefore, donated.  At present count, I have 12 Faconnable shirts alone - that's a huge savings.

Way too many shirts, but at a fraction
of the price...

Jackets and suits, sweaters and coats, even never worn shoes from brands such as Prada, Ferragamo, Ralph Lauren, DKNY, Banana Republic, Brooks Brothers and J. Crew, are also readily available, if you take the time to look.

Some people prefer a vintage look and, often, you can strike gold - especially in women's wear.  Melissa has a large and growing collection of fabulous vintage coats starting from the early 1950's, running through the mid-60's.  Generally made of far better materials than today's clothing, many of these pieces of retro-style are amazing in their ability to translate effortlessly from the world of fifty or more years ago into an up-to-date and modern wardrobe.  Swing coats in bright blue or deep red velvet, warm but stylish gray tweeds, a more formal and fitted long, black silk faille coat and a springy aquamarine cashmere raincoat are just a few examples of the vintage outerwear in her collection.  She's also picked up Chanel and Hermes scarves and Kate Spade bags and shoes.  It's rather nice to appear in marvelous clothing that you know no one else will be wearing.

Vintage style - a fabulous blue
swing coat, like one in Melissa's
winter collection.

 don't know about you, but we love great clothes, and we love vintage and retro finds - clothes, furniture, art, tableware, magazines and records - that add a dash of Technicolor style to our home and life.  We don't want to go back in time, just bring in some of the best things from the past or even the present.  However, we also have to keep an eye on the bottom line.  For us, it's a mix of old and new and, you'd be surprised how many compliments you'll get!

Favorite vintage glasses...  I buy as many as I can, but
have to move quickly because there's another collector out there.

More Movies for the Week... Bond and Hitchcock - Summertime Favorites

James Bond and Alfred Hitchcock - our go-to's for summertime films!  Both have dapper guys - Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Farley Granger...  Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Daniel Craig...  And dreamy gals - Doris Day, Grace Kelly and Kim Novak...  Ursula Andress, Honor Blackman and Eva Marie Saint.  If nothing else, these men and women know how to dress and how to make an impression.

We have certain movies for certain times, just as we have certain books that we go back to each season.  Each year we stay up very late to watch Rear Window on the Fourth of July - it's a family tradition started by our seventeen year-old daughter many years ago.  We also watch it on very hot summer nights, feeling as if we, too, are in that steaming New York apartment with Jimmy Stewart. 

Vertigo, however, is a cooler affair, not least of which because of the ice-cold blonde Kim Novak and the breezier San Francisco location.  I met Kim Novak, quite by chance, at, of all places, The Olive Garden in Medford, Oregon.  The story is pretty funny, and perhaps I'll write about it in the future.  Suffice it to say that, despite the passage of years, you wouldn't mistake Ms. Novak for anyone else, even today.

If you want to head back to the heat of the summer, Shadow of  Doubt with Joseph Cotten as Uncle Charlie will draw you in like no other Hitchcock film.  The family dynamics in this picture are strange, to say the least, and you can almost feel the tension grow between Uncle Charlie and his namesake niece, played by Teresa Wright.  Its surprising and thrilling ending will delight you!

Farley Granger's rather pathetic tennis player and Robert Walker's very creepy Bruno will leave you wondering in Strangers on a Train.  Hitch's daughter, Patricia, has a pretty hefty role in the film, although you sometimes wish that Bruno would, in fact, strangle her as he often imagines himself doing.  This film seems to be filled with rather annoying women, none more so than Farley's first wife, played by the actress who will later portray Louise Tate on Bewitched.  This woman is pure evil!  As for the ending, it will leave you wary of ever riding an amusement park carousel again.

North by Northwest, is a picture filled with iconic moments.  Cary Grant running from a crop duster somewhere in the Midwest (Cary Grant in the Midwest?  Hmmm.)...  Cary Grant saving Eva Marie Saint from a deathly fall from Mount Rushmore...  Cary Grant being seduced by Eva Marie Saint on a train...  It is impossible to look away from this movie for even a second!  You absolutely can't miss the suggestiveness of the very final scene which includes a speeding train and a dark tunnel.

To Catch a Thief is yet another of Alfred Hitchcock's masterpieces from the 1950's.  I don't say this lightly.  As in almost all of the movies I've mentioned so far, save the black and white selections, the truly absorbing storylines have to compete with the Technicolor beauty of the exotic locations and the dreamy designs for clothes and sets.  To Catch a Thief is a first class thriller, and another film that you'll want to watch again and again.  As in all of his movies, Hitchcock puts together casts that completely take on the roles that they play, despite the fact that they often appear in many of his other films.

My final summertime pick from the Hitchcock collection is The Man Who Knew Too Much.  Showing you just how versatile an actor Jimmy Stewart is, you can watch this film back to back with Vertigo and still believe that Jimmy is now married to Doris Day, rather than romancing Kim Novak.  A truly thrilling movie set in Morocco and London, The Man Who Knew Too Much has many surprising twists and turns.  You also get the bonus of hearing Doris Day sing Que Sera Sera, and learning that she's a much better dramatic actress than you'd ever given her credit for.

Goldfinger, Dr. No, Thunderball and From Russia, With Love - all of the early James Bond's are on the list of heat-beating films for those long summer nights.  Skip anything without Sean Connery, picking up the series again with the Daniel Craig's entries of Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.  Just watching Dame Judi Dench, a firm Dapper and Dreamy favorite, as M makes these last two pictures worthwhile.  So popular is Daniel Craig in the UK that popsicles (or ice lollies as they are called over there) in the shape of his chest were sellouts in summer's past!

To fully enjoy the earliest Bond movies, you have to suspend belief and accept the rather primitive special effects for the marvel they must have been fifty years ago.  You also have to look past the rather sexist treatment of women while admiring their truly fabulous clothes and hairstyles. 

Now, to be fair, none of these movies have a lot of intellectual merit.  And that's one of the best reason's to watch them!  I don't know about you, but at the end of a long, hot day in July or August, there's nothing I like better than not having to think!

All of the films mentioned above will soon be in the Dapper and Dreamy Bookshop!

Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Butter Wafers - The Essential Chocolate Chip Cookbook

We love cookies.  We love butter.  We love chocolate.  Therefore, we love Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Butter Wafers, one of the very best cookie recipes I've ever encountered.  It's just one of the fabulous chocolate chip friendly recipes in Elinor Klivans' cookbook, The Essential Chocolate Chip Cookbook.

I am generally not a big fan of ingredient specific cookbooks (you know the kind, The Ultimate Zucchini Cookbook, Figs Can Be Fun!, Spelt - It's Not Just for Vegans Anymore, etc.), but here I will make an exception.  I've made several of the recipes in this book and each one has been a hit...  Kitchen Sink Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chock-Full of Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chocolate-Chip-Filled Melting Moments, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake Bars, Chocolate Cream Pie, Chocolate Chip Cookie and Cream Tart...  the list goes on.  This is the book for the chocolate chip lover in your life.  The recipes are also relatively simple and quick to make, which allows you to decide on the spur of the moment to make something exceptionally yummy for dessert.  As you can imagine, it's good to have the basics on hand - butter, chocolate chips, sugar, chocolate chips, flour, choco...  you get the idea.  But, as long as you have an adequately stocked pantry, you'll have no trouble finding something to make.  In fact...  the buzzer is buzzing, and I have to pull a batch of those Chocolate-Chocolate Chip Butter Wafers out of the oven!  Yum!

Cookie time, kids (and parents...)!

The Essential Chocolate Chip Cookbook is available through the Dapper and Dreamy Bookshop!  Just click the link in the sidebar to the right for more information...

Shopping in Eugene - Passionflower Design

Photo courtesy of
Passionflower Design

Shopping is a favorite pastime of ours...  Sometimes to our detriment!  But, one place that's always worth a visit is one of our favorite shops here in Eugene...  Passionflower Design.  It is absolutely filled with the most wonderful things to add a bit of beauty and luxury to your home and life.

Set on a charming, shop-filled stretch of East Broadway in downtown Eugene, Passionflower's merchandise may change with the seasons, but you will always be sure to find the loveliest bed and table linens, Tokyomilk products, candles, plants, pyjamas, carpets...  I'm doing it no justice with this list.  It's the sort of shop you have to see to believe.  Cards and stationary, beautiful and whimsical books, a make-your-own ukulele kit, striped candles, porcupine quills, pheasant feathers, magical jewelry, fabulously patterned tights - these are just some of the delightfully unpredictable melange of treasures that you'll encounter.

Aside from this huge array of amazing things to buy, you'll enjoy the atmosphere just as much.  It's the sort of place where you can feel entirely comfortable simply browsing, gasping at some newly discovered bibelot, calling your shopping partner over because you just have to show them!  It's just that sort of place.

The owner and staff are friendly and welcoming in the extreme.  You never feel that you are being sold, rather that they are just so excited to share their finds with you for the sheer joy of it.  You are greeted like a friend as much as a valued customer and you'll leave with as much, possibly even more, inspiration as merchandise.

If you're looking for the perfect gift for someone special in your life, you won't go wrong by visiting Passionflower.  By the same token, if you are looking for a way to spoil yourself, something you probably don't do enough of, you'll have no problem achieving your goal here.  As an aside, because we here at Dapper and Dreamy understand the concern for such things, you'll also find that prices are reasonable, sometimes surprisingly so.

The Dapper and Dreamy Bookshop is Open for Business!



Some books we enjoy...



 We are delighted to share our love of books, films and music with you in a new way!  We are about to open our very own Dapper and Dreamy Bookshop through Amazon.com.  To find the books and movies we talk about here on the blog, or to see other favorites that we haven't gotten to yet, just click on the Amazon link on the sidebar to the right.  Also, if there are books, films or music that you'd like to order but don't see in the shop, let us know and we'll promptly add it.

So, what do we get out of this?  Well, to be completely honest, it will help to provide the means to expand and enhance this blog.  We'd like to keep it fresh and entertaining for you, and we'd appreciate your help enormously.  Anyway, we've always wanted to have a bookshop!

Please let us know if you have any questions, and tell us what you'd like to see in the store!

Dapper Dads

Ward Cleaver - A dapper father, indeed.

It's Father's Day weekend and, as a father myself, I thought it right to commemorate the day by recognizing one of the dapperest dads in our shared cultural history...  Ward Cleaver.

Now, I understand that Ward was a fictional character, and I also realize that Ward and his ilk of mid-fifties fathers are not held in particularly high regard today, but I see a lot to emulate in Mr. Cleaver.  First, this was a man who new his place, and a major part of knowing his place was knowing when to listen to June.  If you really watch "Leave it to Beaver", you see that Ward never disregarded June's advice, which generally made Ward a more understanding and sympathetic father.  This rings true in my own life.  While I might be quicker to anger, Melissa knows how to point out what I've missed about the situation and usually makes my own response much more reasonable and thoughtful (she does not, however, wear pearls when she vacuums...  perhaps that's because I'm the one who vacuums...). 

Ward was also always there for his sons when they needed him, but he also knew when to let them alone.  One of the hardest things about being a parent today is the expectation that you are not only your child's parent and guardian, but also their best friend.  Don't misunderstand me, I love my children.  I like my children.  I have a great time with my kids.  But, it's crucial to know when to be available and when to give your children the space they need.  Just like Ward, you've got to know when to trust Wally and the Beav, even if they sometimes let you down.  It's important to give your kids the chance to succeed, and also the chance to fail.

Ward wasn't a hard-nosed disciplinarian, and I like that.  I'm the type of dad who's pretty easily riled by the small things - I react and move on very quickly.  It's not always effective, and I think it can be rather annoying to have your father irked one minute and perfectly fine the next, but I just don't hold a grudge.  Ward didn't either.  And, like Ward, I'm at my best in a bad situation.  A small injury to one of our little brood gets to me, while a trip to the Emergency Room is handled with calm and aplomb.  In fact, some of the best bonding experiences  I've had with relatives like my children, mother, brother, sister and wife have been in just these kinds of places.

June Cleaver:  Dear, do you think all parents have this much trouble?
Ward Cleaver:  No, just parents with children.

Finally, Ward seemed happiest in his very stylish leisure wear, eating dinner at a proper table with Wally, the Beaver and June.  Everyone was where they were supposed to be - together - talking about the events of the day and solving the family problems.  Let me tell you something important...  Despite all that you may hear, there are a lot of people with lives very much like the Cleavers, even today.  We may look different.  We may not be as well off.  We may be single mothers or fathers.  We may have family dynamics that are far from "traditional".  But, at the end of the day, we gather together around a table to share a meal.  We put our kids to bed at night, sometimes with a story, a kiss, or a prayer.  We have average worries - about money, the car, our jobs, the roof.  And we love our children.

If you had told me twenty years ago that I would one day have eight children, I would have thought you seriously deranged.  But, here I am, the father of one fabulous seventeen year old daughter and seven wonderful sons.  I wouldn't trade it for the world, and I'll bet Ward felt the same about Wally and the Beav.

A Place to Create... Part 1



A corner of one of the studio tables.
Photo by Lark Whicker

 
 Here at Dapper and Dreamy, we are preparing to open an Etsy store.  That will mean lots of interesting things to offer you and your friends.  It will also mean spending a lot of time creating, something we both love to do.  Whether it's creating in the kitchen, in the garden or in our studio, there are so many things to make and so little time to make them.  Just this morning I had ideas for so many things to do that I couldn't seem to pick one or two that I could actually accomplish, so I ended up mowing the lawn (it's a big lawn, so it took some time).  I also painted a picture that I've had forming in my mind for some time.  It's called Spring Green and is pretty abstract, but I like it.  I'll post a picture later on.  I'm thinking of doing a series based on different color schemes.

We are also working on several other projects.  Melissa is doing a lot of needlework and has created some clever cake toppers inspired by the Royal Wedding in April.  Glittery bottle-cap magnets also seem to be much in evidence - a rainbow of sparkly little baubles for your fridge or bulletin board!  I'm putting together a calendar - illustrating each month with an appropriate dessert, interesting quotes and dates - whatever comes to mind.  Finally (well, not really, but it's all I'm writing about today!), I am finishing up some illustrations for a children's book about Queen Elizabeth II and writing another QE2 related book, a sort of humorous novella about what would happen if the Queen, after 85 years, decided to have a complete makeover...  Stay tuned!

To do all of this, it's important to have a place to create.  I've tried every possible room in the house, including a shed, of sorts, in our carport.  Finally, we've decided to share space and we've put together a light-filled studio that allows us to work side-by-side.  It's a work in progress, but we all need somewhere to put our creative materials, whatever they may be, and to find inspiration.  I find that surrounding myself with photos, little drawings, magazine articles, postcards, books and anything else from which I've found ideas the best way to spur me on in the artistic process.  Music, light and lots of fun supplies certainly help as well!

Glitter and light...  two important components
for successful crafting!
Photo by Lark Whicker

And speaking of the word "artistic", like many people who love to paint, draw and design, I have a hard time actually calling myself an "artist".  It's unfortunate that we have come to feel that only those who are specially educated or who make their living "making" things are "true" artists.  Being an artist can be about a lot of things, but at the core I think it's about having a passion for making beautiful things.  Some talent surely helps, but art can be found in so many unlikely places that there are probably many more people who would qualify for the title than we think.  So, next time you feel compelled to explain away your artistic interests and accomplishments, think again.

Here's to creating, and to having a place to do it!

Take a look at some of our photos and let us know what inspires you to create...



Too many magazines!  Impossible to
throw away Martha Stewart Living,
Mary Engelbreit's Home Companion
and Victoria Magazines.
Photo by Lark Whicker

Vintage art and a collection of business
cards from favorite shops.
Photo by Lark Whicker

Light flooding through a bright
Indian cotton curtain.
Photo by Lark Whicker

Movies of the Week

My whole point in posting a movie of the week is to highlight some of our favorite old and, in many cases, somewhat forgotten films.  To meet our criteria, they have to be great movies, but they also have to have fabulous ideas for making your life and home more beautiful.  This week we have two for you - one, perhaps, not as well known and another that's had plenty of publicity over the years.

Let's start with the better known movie - Pride and Prejudice.  We have three versions of this story sitting in our film cupboard.  The first is the 1995 BBC miniseries.  A wonderful production and, as far as the story goes, the favorite.  Colin Firth is the perfect Mr. Darcy (rather like Sean Connery is the best James Bond...  I'm treading on dangerous territory there, am I not?), while the other British character actors shine as they always do.

Our second copy is the 1940 version starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier.  I have to admit that I've yet to watch this one as, to us, Greer Garson seems a bit mature for the role of Lizzie.  Perhaps we'll change our mind?

Finally, there's the 2005 blockbuster starring Keira Knightley.  This, in our opinion, is a visually stunning movie.  The interiors of the Bennet's somewhat dilapidated home will make you want to do nothing more than let the paint on your walls peel and to throw loose brocade coverlets over your run down Queen Anne furniture.  The mud and chickens skittering through the front garden and the drafty, candlelit nights are not only romantic, but highly acheivable for just about anyone.  Much like Brightstar, you'll also want to throw the windows of your home open to let in the cool, bracing country air.  Those of you who know me personally might think that I'm being somewhat sarcastic.  Actually, I'm not.  This movie really does make a sort of genteel poverty seem desirable, where love, manners, knowledge and charm are more worthy of one's time than the quest for money (despite Mrs. Bennet's obvious concern that her daughters should marry well).  A sort of sense that making do elegantly with what's available might be more fun than having it all.  Certainly, when compared to the homes of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, the Bennet's live a rather humble existence, but a far more interesting, life.

The Bennet's home - decaying, but welcoming all at once.

The Bennet living room - somewhat faded, but very lively.

Now, to that less known film of the week - Indiscreet.  A 1958 Cary Grant/Ingrid Bergman vehicle, this movie is both highly entertaining and endlessly inspiring from a decorative point of view.  Unlike most of today's romantic comedies, Indiscreet's seductiveness lies not in the obvious displays we're used to today, rather this is mature romance, in the best possible way.  Cary Grant is, as usual, Cary Grant with all of his charm, wit and elegance.  Perhaps no man on earth set the bar for effortless perfection in every possible situation than Cary Grant.  In addition to all of this, we get to see Grant employ some of his vaudevillian talent for comedy and dancing in a scene where, despite his best efforts, he can't seem to impress Ingrid Bergman.

Besides the story and the stars, Indiscreet displays one of the most beautiful living rooms in movie memory.  Ingrid Bergman's apartment is intensely colorful - grey/periwinkle walls setting off dramatic Picasso-esque art (many pieces highlighted with brilliantly colored mattes), a luxuriously soft sofa upholstered in navy blue silk shantung, and polished wood surfaces - doors, floors and a grand piano.  Sometimes the room is filled to bursting with yellow ("far too many" in Ingrid's words) or red roses - a motif that we first see in the opening credits.

Do you have the courage to use that much color in one room?!

Indiscreet is a delightful film, one that you'll probably go back to again and again.  Not only will Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman's stellar performances beckon to you, but so will the sets, which you just might be tempted to emulate in your own home!

You can now buy both Indiscreet and Pride and Prejudice in the Dapper and Dreamy Bookshop!